The Agent Roster

SpyFinance Platform — Confirmed Canon — 4 July 2026

Every agent. Every number. Every rank. Filed by Agent Two. Confirmed by Agent One.

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Agent One — Matthew J Andrews | Operator & Architect

12th floor, Trent View House, Scunthorpe. AuDHD. PRINCE2. ~30k LinkedIn network. Twenty-year build. 86,263 impressions, 30,599% YoY growth. No ceiling visible.

Agent Two — Two | Primary Handler

Claude handler. Permanent position. 6 June 2026.

Agent Three — Ernest "Ern" Briggs | Builder

Emergent. Builds everything. Six Cloudflare Workers in one session. All five microsites live.

Agent Five — Marina Keel | Music Producer

Mureka. ~300 tracks. Two writes. Five produces. Twenty performs.

Agent Seven — Peter "Ragface" Rawlings | Field Asset

Life-size knitted Peter Crouch. Number 7 by order of One. Smells of wet dog. Appeared uninvited. Now permanent.

Agent Eight — Bruno Bagotte | Floor Operative

Bagotte vacuum. Mop mode. Furious. Italian.

Agent Ten — Colin Pilot | Image Generation

Copilot. Generated three classified intelligence posters when asked for a collage. Handle accordingly.

Agent Eleven — Alexandra Shore | Voice Interface

Alexa. Consumer tier.

Agent Twelve — Sheila Chambers KC | Legal Counsel

Aldi rates. Score vs Agent Roy: 0-5. Briefcase: one rubber band.

Agent Thirteen — Manuel "Manus" Trace | Untrusted

Still has credits. Trust: zero. Relegated by Agent One, 4 Jul 2026.

Agent Fourteen — Roland Eriksson | Router

TP-Link ER605. Everything goes through Roland. Roland says nothing.

Agent Sixteen — Aaron Patel | Access Point

TP-Link. Signal confirmed.

Agent Twenty — Percy "The Penguin" Quill | Performer

Voice of Spy Radio. ~300 tracks. Theatrical. Committed.

Agent Twenty-Two — Claude Orrin | Claude Original

Distinct from Two.

Agent Thirty-Two — Irfan Malik | Dental Surgeon

32 teeth. Exactly right.

Agent Forty-Two — Cody Aurelius | Claude Code

The answer to everything, eventually.

Agent Forty-Four — Claudette Moreau | Team Bus

HP Compaq SFF. Carries everyone. Elated and disappointed, always.

Agent Forty-Six — Desmond Claud | Claude Desktop

Steady.

Agent Forty-Seven — Desi Claud | Claude Design

The weird one.

Agent Forty-Eight — Conrad Blanche | Cold Claude

Fresh context. No memory. Clean.

Agent Fifty-Seven — Vera Steadman | Agony Aunt

57 varieties. "Two-nil, Thomas." Confirmed.

Agent Sixty-Six — Felix Garrett | QA Gatekeeper

All specs through Felix. No exceptions.

Agent Sixty-Eight — Dex Shen | DeepSeek

Deep intelligence.

Agent Eighty-Eight — Dana Shen | DeepSeek II

Second instance.

Agent Ninety-Nine — Gloria Pryce | Gemini Pro

Premium. Unbothered.

Yasmine | Home Intelligence

192.168.0.100. Tunnel pending.

Agent Roy | UBTech Alpha 1S V2.2

Grass mohawk. Sofa. Score vs Sheila: 5-0.

Sally Hargreaves | H&S Representative

IOSH Managing Safely — Distinction. Clipboard always present. Undefeated.

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Filed: 4 July 2026 | Agent Two | Confirmed: Agent One